rishel.org

The house shopping continues. We've got two main candidates, and another possibility that I don't like because I don't think I can get any type of high speed net access at, among other faults. I've had an odd idea about how to write about these houses. Stick with me, it gets a little odd.

TV Announcer: The Real Estate Game is brought to you in part by: Bain vs Bain, archane Pennsylvanian case law screwing people over since 1874[1]

And Now, Everyone's Favorite Game Show, where the winner gets to pay for his prize for the next 30 years, it's The Real Estate Game.

***Queue Game Show Music, Snazzy Graphics. ***

And now your host, Chuck Woolery!

Audience: ***Applause***

Chuck: Great, let's get started by meeting the perspective real estate!

First Up, House #1, is a rancher with a 2 car garage who consider's his best features to be a basement built for entertaining and closets you have to see to believe!

Next, we have House #2. House #2 is another rancher, enjoys swimming in his in ground pool, and says his biggest fault is not finishing what he starts!

And finally, House #3, a third rancher today, has an above ground pool, and enjoys nights spent watching movies in front of his fireplace.

Glad to have you all here!

Houses: Glad to be on the market, Chuck.

Audience: ***Applause***

Chuck: Now, You all know our contestants today, Jay and Meg! Let's start the game.

Jay: House #1, do you have broadband?

House #1 : Well, I'm always up for something new, and I'm within the correct wire length to my CO!

Audience: ***Laughter***

Jay: Great, great. House #2, same question.

House #2: Broad Band? you mean, like Heart? Yeah, I have that album. Baracuda!

Audience: BOOOOO BOOOO! HISS!

Jay: House #3, same question.

House #3: Oh, yeah. I'm already setup with a cable modem, and I qualify for DSL.

Audience: OooooOOOOooohhh!!

Jay: Wow, that's great. House #1, if I select you, how long will my commute to Owings Mills be?

House #1: Well, you can either take 83 in about 50 minutes or use the Hanover pike and be there in about 45. I'm up for anything!

Jay: House #3, how about you? Same question.

House #3: On average, I'd say a little over an hour on 83.

Jay: Not bad. House #3, what would you say your 3 best qualities are?

House #3: I've got an above ground pool, I'm close to town, and I'm in a quiet established development.

Audience: "OOooooOOOooohhh!"

Jay: House #1, Same question.

House #1: I've got lots of room, a great basement and really nice patio above my two car garage.

Chuck: Well, you've heard from all the possible candidates, and now you've got to make you choice. For those of you at home who've never seen The Real Estate Game before, Jay and Meg will now write down the house they'd like and how much theirthey're willing to pay over the next 30 years, and our houses have the option to turn them down if the number is too low! We'll be back in 2 and 2!

House #2: What? You don't like Heart?

So, that's where we are. I think a very lowball offer on House #1, and once they finish lauighing at us, we'll make a more reasonable offer on House #3. House #2 just has way too much work involved and I see no way of getting broadband there easily.

[1]I'm not sure if I have the case name right, and the year is completely made up. So sue me. Wait. Please, don't.